Direct, aggressive and uncompromisingly modern

Maggie Estep

Maggie Estep is an American poet and writer. She published six books and released two spoken word albums: Love is a Dog From Hell and No More Mr. Nice Girl.

Estep was born in 1963 in Summit, New Jersey.Maggie Estep grew up moving throughout the US and France with her nomadic horse trainer parents. She attended the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics in Boulder, Co. and received a B.A. in Literature from The State University of New York. As a poet, she emerged in the early 1990s when grunge was the height of fashion and her "direct, aggressive and uncompromisingly modern" poetry was highly accessible.

Estep appeared on MTV's Spoken Word Unplugged, PBS's The United States of Poetry and most recently on Season 3 of HBO's Def Poetry. Her video for her spoken word track "Hey Baby" received moderate rotation on MTV and was highlighted on MTV's Beavis& Butt head. She would also contributed vocals to two songs on Recoil's 1997 album Unsound Methods , including the single "Control Freak".

Estep went on to write several novels, including the Ruby Murphy mystery novels, Gargantuan and Hex. Hex was named NewYork Times Notable Book for 2003

Before publishing her first novel, Maggie worked as a horse groom, a go-go dancer, a dishwasher, a nurse's aide, and a box factory worker. Maggie has published seven books, DIARY OF AN EMOTIONAL IDIOT (Harmony Books 1997, Soft Skull 2003) SOFT MANIACS (Simon and Schuster 1999) LOVE DANCE OF THE MECHANICAL ANIMALS (Three Rivers Press 2003) HEX (Three Rivers Press 2003) GARGANTUAN (Three Rivers Press 2004) FLAMETHROWER (Three Rivers Press 2006) and ALICE FANTASTIC (Akashic Books 2009). HEX, the first book in Maggie's trilogy of crime novels, was chosen by the New York Times as a notable book of 2003.

Maggie has recorded two spoken word CD's, NO MORE MR. NICE GIRL (Nuyo Records 1994) and LOVE IS A DOG FROM HELL (Mercury Records 1997).

She has given readings of her work at cafes, clubs, and colleges throughout the US and Europe and has also performed her work on The Charlie Rose Show, MTV, PBS, and HBO's "Def Poetry Jam". Her writing has appeared in The New York Post, Self Magazine, Village Voice, New York Press, Harpers Bazaar, Spin, and Nerve.com, as well as in dozens of anthologies including but not limited to BROOKLYN NOIR, THE BEST AMERICAN EROTICA, and HARD BOILED BROOKLYN.

She is currently at work on The Angelmakers, a novel about female gangsters in late 19th century New York. Maggie lives in Woodstock, New York.

Some of her poems

Fuck Me

FUCK ME
I'm all screwed up so
FUCK ME.

FUCK ME
and take out the garbage
feed the cat and FUCK ME
you can do it, I know you can.

FUCK ME
and theorize about
Sado Masochism's relationship
to classical philosophy
tell me how this stimulates
the fabric of most human relationships,
I love that kind of pointless intellectualism
so do it again and
FUCK ME.

Stop being logical
stop contemplating
the origins of evil
and the beauty of death
this is not a TV movie about Plato sex life,
this is FUCK ME
so FUCK ME

It's the pause that refreshes
just add water and
FUCK ME.

I wrote this
so I'd have a good excuse to say "FUCK ME"
over and over
and over
so I could get a lot of attention
and look, it worked!
So thank you
thank you
and fuck ME.

Emotional Idiot

Liner Notes - (From Love Is A Dog From Hell)

Emotional Idiocy is obviously
a theme close to my heart since I seem to use the phrase in novels and
CDs alike. My friend and mentor of sorts, Andrew Vachss, upon hearing me
read a rendition of this poem, stated that it ought to be the theme song
for borderline personality disorder. He's right.


I'm an Emotional Idiot
so get away from me.
I mean,
COME HERE.

Wait, no,
that's too close,

it's a big country,
there's plenty of room,
don't sit so close to me.

Hey, where are you?
I haven't seen you in days.
Whadya, having an affair?
Who is she?
Come on,
aren't I enough for you?

God,
You're so cold.
I never know what you're thinking.
You're not very affectionate.

I mean,
you're clinging to me,
DON'T TOUCH ME,
what am I, your fucking cat?
Don't rub me like that.

Don't you have anything better to do
than sit there fawning over me?

Don't you have any interests?
Hobbies?
Sailing Fly fishing
Archeology?

There's an archeology expedition leaving tomorrow
why don't you go?
I'll loan you the money,
my money is your money.
my life is your life
my soul is yours
without you I'm nothing.

Move in with me
we'll get a studio apartment together, save on rent,
well, wait, I mean, a one bedroom,
so we don't get in each other's hair or anything
or, well,
maybe a two bedroom
I'll have my own bedroom,
it's nothing personal
I just need to be alone sometimes,
you do understand,
don't you?

Hey, why are you acting distant?

Where you goin',
was it something I said?
What
What did I do?

I'm an emotional idiot
so get away from me
I mean,
MARRY ME.

Sex Goddess

I am THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
so don't mess with me
I've got a big bag full of SEX TOYS
and you can't have any
'cause they're all mine
'cause I'm
the SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

"Hey," you may say to yourself,
"who the hell's she tryin' to kid,
she's no sex goddess,"
But trust me,
I am
if only for the fact that I have
the unabashed gall
to call
myself a SEX GODDESS,
I mean, after all,
it's what so many of us have at some point thought,
we've all had someone
who worshipped our filthy socks
and barked like a dog when we were near
giving us cause
to pause and think: You know, I may not look like much
but deep inside, I am a SEX GODDESS.

Only
we'd never come out and admit it publicly
well, you wouldn't admit it publicly
but I will
because I am
THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

I haven't always been
a SEX GODDESS
I used to be just a mere mortal woman
but I grew tired of sexuality being repressed
then manifest
in late night 900 number ads
where 3 bodacious bimbettes
heave cleavage into the camera's winking lens and sigh:

"Big Girls oooh, Bad Girls oooh, Blonde Girls oooh,
you know what to do, call 1-900-UNMITIGATED BIMBO ooooh."

Yeah
I got fed up with the oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
I got fed up with it all
so I put on my combat boots
and hit the road with my bag full of SEX TOYS
that were a vital part of my SEX GODDESS image
even though I would never actually use
my SEX TOYS
'cause my being a SEX GODDESS
it isn't a SEXUAL thing
it's a POLITICAL thing
I don't actually have SEX, no
I'm too busy taking care of
important SEX GODDESS BUSINESS,
yeah,
I gotta go on The Charlie Rose Show
and MTV and become a parody
of myself and make
buckets full of money off my own inane brand
of self-righteous POP PSYCHOLOGY
because my pain is different
because I am a SEX GODDESS
and when I talk,
people listen
why ?
Because, you guessed it,
I AM THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
and you're not.